I have come to a very startling conclusion.
My name is not dignified. It's a minuscule two syllables. Five lonely little letters. Not the least bit intimidating. A measly reference to a vicious magical beast isn't enough for a Malfoy. Clearly this was some small mistake my parents made, hoping I would recognize their fault and correct it myself. Perhaps this is a test of my maturity?
In any case, I have no choice but to change it to something befitting my presence. When my title is properly adjusted, surely I'll be able to grow a properly dastardly mustache.
Does the name Mestiphoclous strike fear into your heart? Or Beelzebub maybe? Ooh, Shaquslu is rather dashing...
The Student Formerly Known As Draco